Breaking up is hard to do. For days, weeks, months and even years, the pain of a failed relationship will plague you. Consciously or not, the tendency is to do a post-mortem of what-has-been as well as pining for what-could-still-be. And while the pain lingers, you need to understand that you can survive a break up. All you need is the right perspective to get over it, move on and move forward.
If you are looking for the latest relationship advice on how to get through such painful break ups, here is a (partial) list of books that might interest you. These books – written by noted psychologists and authors and the so-called ‘bad boys-come celebrities – can help lighten your love burden and inspire you to take another chance at love and romance.
One of the books that can help you improve your outlook about the L word is Dr. Phil McGraw’s “Love Smart: Find The One You Want – Fix The One You Got.” In this book, Dr. Phil provides tips on how to keep your relationship out of a rut. True to his direct, in-your-face, style, Dr. Phil tells is as it – no mincing of words, no sugar-coated promises of better days ahead.
In the book, Dr. Phil encourages women to set the bar or a profile of what they think is the ideal guy. And once we have that in mind, he tells us to look for that quality in the persons we date and not to settle for anything else. More importantly, Dr. Phil reminds us that if we want to find the right one, we first need to know what it is we want. Easier said than done, right? Well, sure. But once we have done that, then finding the right one may not be that hard a task.
Another interesting book to read while recuperating from a break up is “The Breakup Repair Kit: How to Heal Your Broken Heart.” Written by Marni Kamins and Janice MacLeod, the book can be best summed up as a breakup encyclopedia. It details eight stages of healing after the breakup and how we can survive all these stages. And because depression is a common stage after breakups, the book also provides ways on how to detect and overcome it.
One of the more famous books about breakups is the one involving Bridget Jones. In this novel by Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones – a thirty-something singe working woman living in London – writes about her career, self-image, vices, family, friends and romantic relationships. She writes about her painful breakup with her boss and how she was able to find the relationship she needs in the person of Mark Darcy.
If you are the business-minded type who prefers to talk about relationships as deals, then Deal Breakers may just be the book you need. The author, Dr. Bethany Marshall, explains that the term deal breaker is the “one non-negotiable term that, if agreed to, means the deal is off.” In the world of relationships, Dr. Marshall opines that identifying your deal breaker has a lot of advantages as it holds out the promise of helping you understand why the relationship ended, where it went wrong and what you need to do to avoid making the same mistakes.
There are many more books to choose from but when reading through them, you have to understand the importance of putting all you have learned into action. It will be hard in the beginning but the rewards are promising.
Alison Chace is the create of Wake Up To A Break Up. She is an actress and TV Host, who lives in New York City.
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